A Glimpse

I have been missing in action for quite some time. It has been a full several months--in both good and bad ways. BUT....I am still here and I am still going strong. There has been learning, growing, a trip to Seattle to see dear friends, time at the lake, a very special wedding, a very special RING dinner, some Cornhuskin, & some state fair goodness:) Life is full & good.

School has been harder than I know how to put into words. I guess Junior year is just like that. I have been pushed far beyond what I ever imagined I was capable of--and I have to say I am proud of the results. I have four finals left & then I am going to enjoy a much-needed break.

I am learning a lot right now about a lot of things. I may post more on that & I may not. But, at the end of the day, I am still grateful for life. It is just a lot to take in some times.

Love to all.

Oh, life.

It has been a week. I mean--quite the week. I am exhausted in the way that I am always exhausted at the beginning of December at the beginning of May. You'd think with this being my fourth run with college finals I would remember how all of this feels--but my body quickly forgets what it is like probably because it's so stinkin' miserable.

I'd like to share what really topped this week. I must confess that I do realize that it is only Tuesday and technically it has been far from a week. But I have been under the cloud of final projects/presentations and finals since last Tuesday--so it feels like it has already been a week. Anyways, let me explain this "thing" that really topped the week: Oh, you know, just some TORNADOES. They were ripping through here today and it was terrifying. All of my friends' parents were calling, including mine, to make sure their babies were alright. When your parents sound scared as all get out it isn't really comforting to you. asd'flkadjf'lakdsjf. Rough, rough night. Thankfully, all is well and none of us got hurt. Let is just be said, though, that there are moments where I realize my age and the fact that mommy and daddy cannot come over and rescue me--I have to make wise choices and protect myself. Sometimes, I wish I was still a child!
Love and blessings to all of you!

Happy Birthday, Ellen Suzanne! I really cannot express how genuinely thankful I am that Ellen was born twenty years ago. I am positive I would not have survived the last two years of college without her support not to mention the rest of my life without our friendship. If you have never met this beautiful young woman, allow me to give you a bit of a glimpse into who she is:
1. Ellen is genuinely vulnerable
2. She loves the color red and all things cow (stuffed cow, cow print, cow sweater--anything, really!)
3. She has a tremendous amount of compassion
4. Her laugh is hysterical, I love it!
5. She loves to eat her jello frozen.
6. She tries with all she's got to be real, to be exactly who she is. And she succeeds. Ellen is real and it is refreshing.
7. I get to live with her for the next TWO (ahhhhh!!!!woohoooo!) years.
8. When she cries, I someimtes wonder if I need to phone an ambulance:)
9. She's brilliant. Modest about her brilliance, but brilliant nonetheless.
10. Inspiring. She's truly inspiring.

I am so thankful she was born!! Happy Birthday, ESC!

Love,
Anna

I'm Lucky.

Everyone should get a boyfriend who can do the "stanky leg."(above)
Or at least someone who has a smile like this (above).
But definitely someone who has a sense of humor like this:)

For those of you reading that know me at all, the stunning blond man in the pictures above is the man I'm crazy about. You see, that guy and I have been best friends since third grade. We've seen a lot of life together and we've also gone our separate ways and learned a lot on our own.

Elementary and Middle School were fun--we were attached at the hip in the most non-romantic way possible. This is the boy who taught me how to double jump on a trampoline, ride a go-kart, eat popcorn with no hands, and how to appreciate a good root beer. He was the first boy I ever held hands with (on the ferris wheel at the North Carolina State Fair--that's right!). He was even the first boy I ever kissed. Yes, that's right, in 8th grade. On our youth retreat. It is a very dear, sweet memory of ours. I believe it was also 8th grade that I broke up with the dear boy on Valentine's Day, in front of all our friends. I was a cruel heart breaker and I think there are still scars from that incident.

High school was a bit of a different story. Lucas and I had a lot of growing up to do individually and while we were still very active in youth group and bible study--we had moments that were really great and moments that were really awful. We both dated other people and learned a lot about ourselves in the process and a lot about what we DID NOT want in the person we chose to date. The high school years ended with an interesting twist--a twist that I will not shed a lot of light on because it's in the past and, at this point, most trivial:)

After the "interesting twist" at the end of high school, we took a month long hiatus (we were still not dating at the time, we were thinking/talking/about to before the "interesting twist" occurred) to think/process/heal from the "interesting twist" and get through the chaos that is graduation and preparing to leave for college. We dated for about a month (and had the sweetest of kisses underneath fireworks on the 4th of July, yes I am allowed to be sappy) before I broke his heart (again!) right before we both left for college. I was terrified that we'd be together going into college only for him to find someone infinitely better than I and drop me. We both moved into college (ironically enough we were going to colleges that are about ten minutes apart and located on the exact same street!) and didn't really speak until college had been under way for about a month....

We started an official relationship (that didn't include middle school drama and "interesting twists") in September 2007, and haven't really looked back. You see, I am lucky. And when I say lucky, I truly mean that I am blessed and that God has, yet again, been gracious to me and given me someone like Lucas.

Let's be real for a minute, relationships are hard work. Sometimes, extremely hard work. But I have yet to regret any of the time and effort and patience I've put into this relationship. It is genuinely worth it. We have both grown a lot since we started college, and yet we've grown closer to each other at the same time. We're at different schools which has ultimately been a blessing in disguise because we both have separate lives, but also get to join together for a lot of things as well.

He is about to finish up his second year of college (he'll be done about two weeks before me!) and I could not be more proud. He was an RA this year, for the first time ever and, I will take a moment to brag, and say that he has done a phenomenal job! He stepped up to that job and gave everything it demanded and it shows. He's also done so well in school and is just this incredibly gifted and good man. He is much too humble and would never say any of these things about himself, but I will gladly express them about him:)

So, I'm lucky. And I must admit, before ending this, that I'm not just lucky because of the deep things about him that are so incredible--the man has the best sense of humor and it keeps me sane when I am in an anxiety tailspin:)

Nothing like datin' the first boy you ever kissed....I'm so thankful:)

you may not know, but tomorrow is a most special day.

There are two very, very special people that will be celebrating something very special tomorrow. One will celebrate at 4:24pm tomorrow afternoon and the other at some other odd hour of the day (all of us Thorp kids were born at horrific hours of the day--God bless our mother!!).

One of them is my dear and wonderful oldest brother who will be 26 years old tomorrow!! He's in the first picture, explaining how to appropriately pace yourself while enduring a rigorous hike. Oh, how I love him. He's an incredible big brother, but more than that--he's an incredible man who loves with his whole heart, gives everything 110%, and has a great sense of humor.

The second special person who will be celebrating is my bestest and dearest friend at MereCo. Ellen will be 20 years old tomorrow!! We are all most excited for this monumental day:) If you don't know Ellen the best way to describe her is that she beautifully vulnerable, incredibly humble, full compassionate, and refreshingly real about who she is. I love her!

Yay for celebrating the birth of two people I love so, so much:)

Yet Another Year...

It is mind boggling to me that my RA just slide the "End of Year, Move Out Newsletter" under my door! How is it that time is flying by this fast?!?! It makes me most uncomfortable. I thought last year went by fast, but then this year seems to have come and now it seems to be leaving just as quickly as it came. If college goes by faster each day....I am going to have some problems. I am not a fan of change or things ending/beginning. Yes, I understand that such things are necessary for life to be experienced fully, but it doesn't mean I have to like them:)

With all that in mind, there are some beautiful things I'm looking forward to as my Junior year approaches:

1. I will putting THE onyx on my hand on October 23rd, 2009. WOOOOOHOOOOOO!
2. I will be moving into my BRAND SPANKIN' NEW apartment in August with some of the greatest women in the world!
3. I will be getting a new laptop--which is a joyous occasion seeing as this one is currently a lost cause. Goodness!
4. I will be working on-campus with a group that I love dearly and I feel honored to have been chosen to be with them.
5. Cornhuskin'. Need I say more?

That's all!

a good and full life.

You know, as stressful as this time of year is I am really doing great. I have papers, projects, and tests galore--yet I am relatively peaceful and calm. Now, if you know me well, you know that when it comes to me the definitions of peaceful and calm are a bit out of the box. Either way, I'm doing well. I'm eating right, exercising almost daily (that's a change right there, friends!), and I'm balancing my social life and my academic life beautifully. That is a huge step in the right direction for me. And it doesn't hurt that....



The TARHEELS won the National Championship last night!!!!!

I was born and raised in Chapel Hill, and my family's blood is within and without that school. It's very close to my heart, even though I broke the mold and went to an entirely different school than the beloved UNC:) Anyways, it is so exciting that the boys won!


Oh, and, I love the people in my life. They keep a smile on my face and they keep tissues nearby when I need them most:)


I hope this time of year is surprising you with it's calm and peace. Remember what's really important in life and take things one step at a time!

Gratitude.

What does this word even mean exactly? Well, I'll tell you: the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful.

I have had a week full of ups and downs. My spring break was not at all what I had hoped or expected--but if I take the time to step outside of myself I believe I can find things to be grateful for. Thus, begins my gratitude list.

Gratitude List

• Peppers pizza with old friends.
• Watching The Bachelor Finale with my boyfriend and his hysterical parents.
• Listening to old school rap music with my brother (while driving four hours to our uncle's funeral) and bobbing our heads to the beat.
• Four full days without a planner. I am not grateful that I was too sick to even open it, but it really made me rest and for that I am grateful.
• My dad's gentle way of listening and building me up.
• My mom's gift of listening and emphathizing with me.
• Outback Steakhouse (ended up eating there twice this week-and I don't regret a single calorie).
• Thin Mint Cookie Ice Cream.
• Watching Dateline NBC with my mom.
• A much needed date with my parents: my favorite restaurant and a great movie:)
• Having the time to read through two different magazines this week.
• Dan Allender's new book Sabbath -- it is wonderful.
• Checking things off my to-do list.
• My friendships. I have been given a gift.
• Becoming aware of my weaknesses, being willing to accept them, and then choosing to change them.
• Diet Peach Snapple and Trail Mix.
• LP's advice.
• The flowers that have already started to bloom.
• Weather that invites me to roll the windows down and blast good music.
• Sweet Potato Chips.
• A good manicure.
• Laughing with my dad at the glasses store.
• Discovering that I shared a cabin for three summers with someone who is now an up and coming fashion model. I realized who she was on The City --how wild is that.
• Knowing that time at the yellow cottage is just around the corner.
• Finding just the perfect birthday gift for LP's 21st.
• My long hair that can now do just about anything I want it to. Well, almost.
• God's plan that stays the same even in the midst of my confusion, frustration, disappointment, and hurt.

Night. Sweet dreams.

the ability to make a profound impact.

My uncle recently passed away after a courageous and heroic battle cancer. Both my uncle and my aunt fought this cancer with all that they had in them--and just when the rest of us thought that there couldn't possibly be any more fight left in them they amazed us all.

My uncle's funeral was yesterday and as I sat through the service and listened as people shared I was struck by several things. For starters, life is truly short--especially when one takes the time to compare it with Eternal life. I've heard so many people, in so many places--say "Anna, life is short. You've got to live a life that is full and good." And I am not sure that those words have ever truly meant anything to me. Please, don't get me wrong--if you know me well, you know that when people tell me anything I certainly take their words in and I really try to think about them. I guess I have just never realized that our earthly life has one purpose. And, yes, I know that scripture tells us that right and left and up and down--but I am going to be very real and open and say that it had never truly struck a cord in me before yesterday.

Our one purpose in this life, that is so short, is to hear God's calling on our lives. Our purpose is to take that calling and carry it out in every way that we possibly can. For my uncle that was to call all children and to educate them--to give them the gift of knowledge. My uncle began his career as a teacher and progressed to being an outstanding principal. I will brag and say that at one point in his career he even received the award for Prinicpal of the Year. He was so good with students. Words cannot do the man justice for his true gift with children. At the funeral, all of his students had been given the opportunity to write down their thoughts on my uncle and the childrens' thoughts were posted all over the entrance to the funeral. Children wrote that my uncle was their best friend and they he made them laugh. Many children wrote that my uncle made the EOGs seem less scary. My favorite words from a student expressed how my uncle had met this student and his grandfather on the first day of school and that my uncle never forgot that student.

The childrens' words showed me that as human beings we have the power to make a profound impact on one another. Yet, with that power comes a distinct choice. The choice comes when we choose to use that power for the good of another or for the detriment of another. It was expressed so clearly at his funeral: my uncle used his life to make a profoundly good impact on other human beings, other children of God.

All to say, leaving my uncle's funeral I felt challenged. But God was not done with me just like that. I was about to leave my uncle's burial and get ready for the long drive back home when my aunt told me to come meet someone. I must confess that I was agitated at this point, the heels I was wearing were getting to be too much and I had shed enough tears and I had given enough hugs: I was ready to change into some jeans, eat some good dinner, and drive the four hours back home. But you all know me: I chose to put on a good face and see who this person was that I had to meet. I went down the hill to my aunt and she said "Anna, I want you to meet someone." She introduced me to the young woman who teaches the Pre-K class at my uncle's elementary school. It was at that moment that God's neon sign was flashing in my mind: You have the opportunity to make a profoundly good impact on the lives of young children.

If you know me well, you know that I majoring in Psychology and trying to obtain my Birth-Kindergarten Teaching Licensure. Many have questioned why in the world I am getting a four year degree at a not-so-shabby private college just so I can "teach preschool." If you know me even better, you know that in my mind it is not merely "teaching preschool" that my heart so longs to do. You see, I firmly believe (and let's just be real and say that there is evidence to back all of this up if you look at any psychological research) that children ages 0-5 years need the utmost attention, care, love, and guidance. You see, children within that age range are developing attachments, habits, temperaments, and relationships that will most likely last the rest of their lives. Children, 0-5 years, must be nurtured, educated, guided, loved, and cared for. It's not that any of you do not share my sentiments on this issue. It's just that I have worked with so many beautiful, gifted children who come out of painful family circumstances that do not offer nurturiing, loving, and caring parents and mentors. I have worked with many children who have witnessed, first hand, things that I have yet to witness in my twenty years. I am majoring in Psychology because I desire to understand that science behind human beings--why we are the way we are and where the heck all of our patterns even began. And I've come to a resounding conclusion in my own life: To learn why I am who I am today, I had to look back at my childhood-from when I was born to the time I was five.

I say all of this to express that in a time of grief yesterday, God unveiled my eyes a little bit more to His calling and His purpose for my life. I am not going to lay in bed (I'm still in my jammies!) and type out to you that I feel at peace with where His calling will lead me because I have so many moments in my classes where I wonder if I'm biting off more than I can chew and if I'm really even gifted with all of it like I think I am. I do, however, feel at peace that God's hand is on me and that He is guiding me--and that He is pushing me, be it ever so gently, into a life of working with children ages 0-5 years who need special attention and care to lay the foundation for their lives.

I hope that what I have expressed here about my own thoughts will make you question God's calling on your life. I'm not talking an anxious question and answer session with yourself--I do enough of that and it's exhausting. I'm talking about healthily asking yourself and asking God what His calling is on your life. And, you know, if that's way too much to do right now just ponder the choice you make daily: Are you choosing to use your power to make a profoundly good impact on the lives of others or are you choosing to use your power to make a profoundly detrimental impact on the lives of others?

I think I might need to get out of my jammies and do something productive. It may be spring break, but I need to do something:)